Diary of an autistic boy (2)

Pgaitho.blogspot.com, Peter Gaitho
Published Dec. 20, 2010

I cannot do so many things like my younger brother. I do not know how he does it, like tying shoes. For me, it looks so difficult. Every time I promise myself I will do the first knot, but when I bend to start, I see the ground so near my eyes, I sometimes think I will hit it as I tie my shoe. So I look the other way, not my shoe. I can hear mom shouting, “Pete, focus.” I try to tell her I am doing my best, but only tears flow down my heart. For you see, I learnt long time ago not to shed tears with my eyes. Now I cry with my heart.

I know everyone expects me to have learnt how to tie my shoe laces. I am a big boy now, as everyone keeps telling me. My best moment is when I play the piano. Last evening at the party, everyone was so happy when I played a difficult song. I was so happy. I almost cried real tears. But I remembered I am a big boy, so I cried with my heart, tears of joy.

It is in moments like this, when I say, “This little light of mine, am gonna let it shine,” even though I cannot tie my shoes laces.

To be continued.

Tags: Lifestyle